Hello Readers,
You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness. You are only responsible for your own. Don’t ever feel bad about making a decision that upsets other people, because when the chips are down, are they in the least bit bothered about how their actions affect you?
When other people are unhappy, it can cause you to feel a great sense of concern and also a curiosity as to why they feel as they do and what is causing this state of mind. However, not everyone has the ability to empathise and can appear disconnected from someone who is in need of some understanding. This is mainly because they have absolutely no idea nor the interest in how another person is feeling simply because they are too focused on themselves and on what they are doing. It’s so easy for people to blame everyone else for their own misery, but what they are really refusing to do is to take personal responsibility for their own choices and actions, sticking their heads in the sand hoping the bad dream will automatically go away, or that someone else will take the reins, wave their magic wand and make everything better again.
To feel concerned when another person is down in the dumps is one thing but it’s a totally different thing to feel responsible for their situation and that it is your purpose to make them happy and smiley again when they are full of excuses, not valid reasons, as to why they refuse to hoof themselves out of their comfort zone.
You might even think that trying to make other people happy and making lots of sacrifices for them as being somehow virtuous and a better person? but the reality is there is a high risk of you becoming embroiled in their dramas feeling frustrated, disappointed and drained of energy whilst they are still happy playing the victim and not giving you any further consideration. Sacrificing your happiness and health to make other people happy is not noble because constantly feeling obligated, guilt ridden is incredibly destructive and can lead to burn out, illness and depression because all you ever seem to do is go round and round in ever decreasing circles.
If you are a happy person who enjoys life and looks on the positive side of life, do be aware that not everyone is like you. In fact, some people hate to be happy and want to be miserable because they enjoy the attention it gets them. They love it when people like you rush in to help or try to save them. It literally gives them an emotional high and when the fussy has worn off and they are back down in the dumps again they need you to rush in again, but this time with something bigger and better. Some people do not think it is morally right to be happy. Their craving for attention is never satisfied. They believe that pain and sadness is saintly and find people who are joyful and happy annoying and irritating. Remember, when you give someone who is constantly feeling sorry for themselves, attention, you are training them to believe that it’s perfectly acceptable to behave in this way.
In some instances supporting someone is the worst thing you can do for them. The longer you hold them up, the weaker their legs become. On a long enough timeline, their legs will stop working altogether and then they will turn it around on you and say it’s your fault that they are unable to deal with life’s challenges, because you have always been there to prop them up. Sounds ungrateful, I know, but I also know this is true because I have witnessed so many scenarios like these over the years.
If you are holding someone up for an unrealistic length of time, stop it. Understand that support is supposed to be temporary. Sooner or later you need stand back and let them sink or swim, otherwise they will never learn how to fend for themselves. You have to give people space to figure out how to be happy themselves, on their own. They need to be happy without you molly coddling them and telling them what they want to hear, pacifying them and running after them with a hanky in one hand and a cup of tea in the other, telling them that everything is going to be alright in the end. They need to learn to create their own happiness from within. Don’t fool yourself, others need you far less than you think.
The only thing that matters is that it’s not your job to fix their thinking and don’t waste time waiting around for other people to be happy for you. It’s a tough old world that we live in and any happiness that you get in this life you have to make for yourself.
For anyone wanting to live a happy life, focus your attentions on achieving a goal, not to things or people.
No one is coming to save you. Your life is 100% your responsibility.
Until Next Week,
Linda and The Lulas xxx
