HELLO READERS
For some people, nothing is ever their fault unless it’s a good thing. They live in a fantasy world in which they are perfect and superior to others, therefore, admitting to any wrongdoing risks putting themselves in a bad light. They float through life in a permanent state of denial because everyone else is to blame for their unhappiness. They will wallow in self-pity and unlikely to ever grow up.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection can so easily damage the roots from which love grows.
Certain relationships can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and not repeated. A victim mentality refers to a state of mind where the individual concerned believes that they are always at the mercy of some negative circumstances, or that misfortune constantly follows them. Displaying a reluctance to address their problems whilst looking elsewhere to blame for their lack and disappointments, they hinder their personal growth and the ability to develop the right skillset required to create a better life for themselves. Beneath all their protests and fabricated narratives, they secretly enjoy the attention.
Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels fears of abject failure when challenged. The people entrapped by this obsession are rarely satisfied with their own success and so they are never ready to step up to the next level. As a result, they become their own worst enemy and at times, inconsolable. They don’t take kindly to compliments because they don’t believe them. There is a kind of weird luxury attached to self-reproach. When they blame themselves for never being on time, they don’t feel that others have any right to judge them. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives them the absolution they seek.
As we mature, we not only start losing our confidence, but habitually construct an imaginary barrier called blame which keeps us from attempting to try anything new or even introduce a change in our daily routine. Not everyone can cope well with change because the very thought of such a thing worries them too much. By staying with the tried and tested they can’t be blamed if something doesn’t quite work out for, they are the blameless lambs of society.
Blame is a very common, ancient, well perfected system if someone is looking to be absolved of something unpleasant. If a person can exonerate themselves from being a suspect, then the spotlight will be transferred onto someone else instead. Rather than own a problem, they will scramble around to find a comfortable hideaway, preferably where they cannot be easily accessed nor tracked down. They will remain there incognito until the storm has blown over, later emerging totally oblivious to all the trouble they have caused. Of course, none of it could possibly be any of their fault because as you must already know, a clear and innocent conscience has nothing to fear nor explain. And so, this whole toxic pattern of behaviour continues just as it has done throughout history.
Some people’s blameless lives are to blame for a great deal. The hunt for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions.
‘There I was,
cold, isolated and desperate for something I knew I couldn’t have.
A solution.
A remedy.
Anything.
I hated it.
Alone and confused was the last place I wanted to be.
Somehow I knew
I deserved this.
LOVE AND LIGHT,
LINDA AND THE LULAS XXX
