HELLO READERS
Seeking approval can compare us to sheep, all following a path to nowhere in particular. Constantly looking for admiration and validation is a sign of personal emptiness within and a void that never gets filled with the right qualities to be happy. Dealing with other people’s approval can send some people into a tailspin because suddenly they are questioning their own judgment when there isn’t any need to, and neither will you get anywhere by begging for friendship or approval. In the end, who lives with the consequences of our actions, us or them? Nothing gets us into greater trouble than our belief in untested advice. Our habit of assuming that what others think must be good and better than our own opinions is delusional because it is like believing that counterfeits are acceptable and that living our life not by reason, but by imitating others will bring satisfaction and fulfilment. We can enjoy enormous freedom by not worrying about the opinions of others, but by living by our own rules. Acting independently of other people’s dictatorship is one of the best shortcuts to realising our own worth and realising our own capabilities, of which there are many.
When we seek approval, we want to be like everyone else and fit into their mould, but for what logical reason? We are ready to accept untested advice, but following the masses will not lead us to a principled and happy life, in fact, just the opposite. The need for approval also makes us susceptible to flattery and that can create vulnerability and a lack of confidence. Others attempt to manipulate us by shaping our behaviour to their liking by approving or disapproving our choices, and this rarely ends well. To achieve inner calm and peace, we need to conform to what is right for us, and not to try to please others because most of the time they are never pleased. What others may approve of may not be the right thing for you. There is far more to be gained by walking your path alone whether anyone else joins you or not. You are not responsible for the happiness of others, only your own.
If there is someone in your life who creates tension and stress, you really need to address this matter before its toxicity makes you feel unwell. Maybe when you are in their presence it might feel as though you are walking on broken eggshells. Perhaps you don’t speak openly because of the reaction you may receive from them as you attempt to avoid problems and confrontation, and so you make choices you would not have made otherwise. You are encouraged to remain true to yourself when you are around them and others, but preferably remove yourself from their presence. Never allow anyone to intimidate you ever again.
Once you stop concerning yourself about what others think, say or do, you will gain more time for yourself and a greater sense of tranquillity. A need for approval lies behind a distinct lack of self-belief and an inner awareness. It’s almost as though if someone else can be convinced, then that will confirm to you that you are on the right track, but often nothing could be further from the truth. The attempt to convince someone of anything is a mark of gross insecurity and a very low self-esteem which is not good and will only lead to greater suffering in the future.
It’s time to strengthen those boundaries and act as though you mean business. Understand that you do not need any approval to believe in yourself, so for once, just be yourself.
Love and light,
Linda and the Lulas xxxx
