Hello Readers,
How many of you have been good, close friends with someone until one day you realised that in truth, you have absolutely nothing really in common with this person any more, let alone enjoy a good, honest conversation? This situation can prove most upsetting and disallusioning to any of us, but unless the friendship is strong enough to withstand a good old talk, cards on the table and a few home truths discussed, the chances are that the relationship will perish because without communication there is nothing.
Some people are happier making small talk, tallking about silly things like the weather or the ‘the price of cheese’ sort of thing, because it stops them from confronting the truth. Their mantra is ‘Gob Shut’ and ‘ Least said soonest mended’, which in all fairness, can have its place in life, but not always because if hurts, resentments, anger and disappointments are not aired and discussed openly, there is very little, if no chance of any relationship going forwards in a positive direction. I have witnessed these scenarios in lots of places. Hosptial waiting rooms, solicitors offices, family christmas’s where they are all sitting around with long faces, pulling their festive crackers and wearing cheap party hats, all pretending to be enjoying a fun time, when the truth is another matter altogether because in reality, they cant wait to get their hats and coats on and beat a hasty retreat back into their caves, where its safe and nothing more is expected of them.
Many people live their whole lives choked up on their own emotions, yet too afraid or unable to express themsleves propertly and if they did, they would probably feel a hole lot better for the experience. Many go to their graves never telling anyone that they really loved them or cared. They cant even willingly manage a ‘hug’. They stand their with both arms down by their sides or cross armed because it means ‘reaching out and touching’ another person. It means giving of themselves. They may want to, but they choose not to for fear of feeling or looking stupid and vulnerable.
Confrontation is not always pleasant nor easy, but sometimes we have to face the truth head on and deal with it. If someone is worthy of your friendship and genuinly wants to carry on walking by your side, they will find a way of doing it. We are all on a learning curve, each and every one of us. We are all good at different things. We all have valuable qualities to offer others, but if someone is reluctant to learn the necessary lessons of life, they will fall by the wayside, stuck in the same old rut they have been all their lives, because its easier, it requires no effort.
Take a good look around you. People often speak civilly and cordially, yet never say anything of any great importance. They choose to stick to the same subjects whilst brushing vital issues under the carpet in the hope that if they continue sticking their heads in the sand for long enough, not only will will problems suddenly, mysteriously vanish, but they also get away with taking any personal responsibility of any matter that requires constructive help or them even admitting that they were in the wrong.
They question you have to ask yourself honestly is about not who you are speaking with, but who are you genuinely communicating with, because there is a very real difference between the two and you will either find yourself frustratingly banging your head on a brick wall, or you will be pleasantly surprised because the relationship takes on a new twist and it happily survives, stronger and better than ever.
Until Next Week,
Love and Light,
Linda and The Lulas xxx
